@nice_mustard: when super mario bros. was released in russia it was much less popular under the title "you are toilet man fight turtle monster"
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@canadian_makin: Me: hello I've run out of toilet paper Front desk: oh I'm sorry for the inconvenience Me: oh no worries, but I've also run out of towels
@XplodingUnicorn: Wife: What did you get me for Mother's Day? 3-year-old: A cake. Wife: Where is it? 3: You haven't made it yet.
@jackiembouvier: I talk like a sailor in front of my kid. He's gonna swear anyway and I want him to be good at it.