@LaptopShopWH: When the atm charges you 3.50 to take out your own money but tells you to cover your pin so you don't get robbed
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@WeissBrandon: I'd never lie just to get a girl to sleep with me, is one of my favorite lies to tell girls that I am trying to sleep with.
@FlyJ_: My neighbor is a real douche & always cheating on his wife, so I changed my wifi to KARL IS CHEATING ON YOU AMY for when she needs my wifi.
@Sarcasmo718: When I'm sad I drive over to Keanu Reeve's house and watch him check the mailbox for scripts.