@LaptopShopWH: When the atm charges you 3.50 to take out your own money but tells you to cover your pin so you don't get robbed
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@Jack_Wagon1: Sometimes when I get a retweet... I blow on my phone, twirl it and slide it into my belt holster, then ride off into the sunset like a dork.
@Rollinintheseat: The most valuable lesson I learned from Hey Arnold is that it's okay to punch mouth breathers in the face.
@UncleDuke1969: Government Shutdown: Day Three Jellystone Park still closed. Still no pic-a-nic baskets. Yogi stares at Boo-Boo... Boo-Boo looks tasty.
@briangaar: Accidentally used the elephant emoji so thanks, Apple, for the next five hours of fighting