@Kalarlis: When the cashier asks for my signature, I just write "HELP ME" while maintaining eye contact
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@PantsDonkey: 1:5 people in the world are Chinese. My family has 5 people so its either my mom, dad, brother Colin or Ho-Chan-Chu. I think it's Colin
@barbhaynes: OMG, you guys, there's a button on this stove that says "Stop Time". Should I press it??
@sucittaM: Accidentally triple-knotted my laces so I guess I'm wearing these shoes for the rest of my life.
@djdarrellripley: I'm the kindest, sweetest person you'll ever meet. However, if someone was having a seizure in my bathtub, I'd probably throw in my laundry.