@TheTweetOfGod: When the devil buys your soul he makes you sign a contract because even though he is pure evil he has an unshakable respect for tort law.
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@kumailn: Guys, please don't judge someone based on stuff they wrote themselves in a public forum meant to reach the widest possible audience.
@Sickayduh: [First date] Her: I'm really glad you asked me out yesterday in the park Me: *looking under table* you didn't bring your dog?
@LorieGZ: My husband thinks The Bachelor show is fake, they're all there to be actors, and that it's total bullshit. Then he turned to wrestling.