@DammitLarry1: When the ex asks to be friends... it's like your mum telling you that your dog is dead but you can keep it.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@jus4golf: Last night I got so drunk I spent an hour apologizing to a tree for saying it's bark was worse than it's bite.
@pleatedjeans: I should've never taught my parrot to say the alphabet backwards now he drives drunk all the time the cops can't do shit it's a real problem
@blairgarner: To apply for a job at Hooters do they hand you a bra and say, "Here, just fill this out." ?