@DammitLarry1: When the ex asks to be friends... it's like your mum telling you that your dog is dead but you can keep it.
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@Elizasoul80: I don't want your undivided attention. I want your multiplied attention. Make clones of yourself and give me all of their attention too.
@Burger_Time_: [as one million ants are carrying me out of my bed to toward their cavern to eat me alive] please let me feed my neopets first
@iwearpajamas: My girlfriend talks to her dog like it's going to talk back. Kind of like when Christians talk to God.