@CVTBaby: When the ex saw 2 wine glasses in my sink, I hope he thought, "she shared a bottle w/ a hot guy" not "drinking alone 2 nights in a row"
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@thatUPSdude: Her: So, how did you get that scar on your chin? Me: *flashes back to slipping in the shower* Hunting wild boar.
@LoveNLunchmeat: No thanks, body wraps. If I believed magic would make me thinner, I'd eat a wizard.
@iGreenMonk: I always put a crouton on my ice cream sundaes instead of a cherry. That way, it counts as a salad!