@CVTBaby: When the ex saw 2 wine glasses in my sink, I hope he thought, "she shared a bottle w/ a hot guy" not "drinking alone 2 nights in a row"
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@moxieblogger: If you ever feel dumb, remember sometimes sloths grab their own arms thinking they are tree branches and fall to the ground.
@Quartzjixler: Don't be silly! A kid's name doesn't affect the type of person they become. Now come and hold my sweet baby Lucifer Charles Manson Hitler.
@jergarl: [7am] *drinks 19 cups of coffee for work *can't stay awake [9pm] *takes a sip of coffee [2am] I should vacuum the dog