@schumyxxx: When the hostess at the restaurant says "table for two?", I always like to look surprised and whisper "you can see her too?".
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@CornOnTheGoblin: [starts to leave the theater when the title appears on-screen] date: no, Get Out is the name of the movie
@BuckyIsotope: “Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there,” we chant. Another agent appears inside the pentagram and screams. The dark lord feasts tonight.
@0point5twins: My ex left because I "lack imagination". "Yeah? Well you lack imagination!", I shouted after her.
@NikiWithIssues: I sent 117 texts and called you 82 times but you must be busy so I came over to tell you the restraining order expired and I still love you!