@man_spach: When the internet is down I turn my bed into a make-believe boat and play Life of Pi with the cat
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@MrBigFists: Just once I would like to hear an athlete thank God for their talent and their pharmacist for everything God left out.
@weinerdog4life: Other kids wanted to be astronauts or doctors, when I was little I wanted to be a horse calendar
@mikeysny: When I learned what calculators did, I immediately cleared the "math" part of my brain to make room for more movie quotes.
@daemonic3: To whoever has my voodoo doll, can you stop making me stare at my phone all day? This isn't funny. I just want to live life again.