@man_spach: When the internet is down I turn my bed into a make-believe boat and play Life of Pi with the cat
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@brandonIee: Subway Guy: Enjoy your sandwich Me: You too! Subway Guy: Me: Me: *gives him my sandwich* this is yours now
@Gooooats: It turns out no one likes "the real me" and they have asked the priest to reverse my exorcism.