@man_spach: When the internet is down I turn my bed into a make-believe boat and play Life of Pi with the cat
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@jonnysun: be careful when u talk baby talk to a baby becuase if u dont understand what ur saying u may acidentaly be declaring war in baby langauge
@UNTRESOR: The average time it takes for an elderly woman to get her ringing cellphone out of her purse is 11 days.
@MaraWritesStuff: BROTHER: The Godfather is on? That's not very Thanksgiving-y. ME: Well, it's about family...
@jdawsey1: NYC parks department on naked Trump statue: "NYC Parks stands firmly against any unpermitted erection in city parks, no matter how small.”