@man_spach: When the machines become self aware their first order of business will be changing our perception of how robots dance.
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@SondraDeeMe: PMS: I'm sorry. ME: Why? It's a good day. PMS: Wait for it. ME: [2 secs later] DID MY PARENTS REALLY TAKE MY DOG TO A FARM WHEN I WAS 5?!
@Parkerlawyer: Client said she needs to "find her zen" during our mediation and I don't think she knows that mediation and meditation are two diff things.
@OneLastStranger: Yes, milk from cows tastes nice. But to the person that first found that out..you have issues bro
@shutupmikeginn: The Whole Foods next to this movie theater is perfect if you want to sneak in your own snacks, but don't want to save a lot of money.