@gorrdano: When the nun comes around to collect the offerings, I shell out a handful of change and a cucumber then give her a wink and a thumbs up.
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@WildeThingy: *Panda walks into shop, "A packet of nuts please." Assistant: "pandas don't eat nuts." -"dammit" panda suit opens and 36 squirrels run off.
@TheThomason: Professor X gets a lot of credit as a progressive considering his solution to a race conflict was "give them their own school."
@KalvinMacleod: [adrift at sea] CLOWN: no worries, we can use this helium canister to propel us to shore ME: *really squeaky voice* we need a different plan