@chamashouse: When the police asked me where I was between 4 and 5, apparently "Kindergarten" wasn't the answer he was looking for.
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@blind_phineas: I bet the best part of Jay Z's life was the brief period before he was married when he could say, "This is my fiancé, Beyoncé"...
@Squeeb_Slayer: Whenever I see a bored boyfriend following his girlfriend around while she picks out clothes to try on I whisper "I'd never do that to you"
@lovemydogduck: Didn't have internet on my phone for the past few hours. Finally graduated, got married, lost some weight, read 15 books and showered.