@skitzoette: When the space shuttle gets back from its last mission, wouldn't it be hilarious if we were all dressed as apes?
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@XplodingUnicorn: Wife: We need to go to the store. We’re out of milk. Me: We can wait a few days. Wife: We’re out of beer. Me: *dives in the car*
@heyevergreen: Thought I saw a brownie walk by but it was just my dog. Other than that, diet is going well.
@3sunzzz: *4yo son, crying* I'm sorry! How was I supposed to know I wasn't supposed to cook the macaroni necklace? *sigh* Parenting is hard.