@TheTweetOfGod: When the sun explodes you will have eight minutes before the world ends. In a related story, you might want to order dessert now.
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@birbigs: Alright. It's Sunday. Another Breaking Bad. Or if you don't watch the show, an hour of confusing tweets.
@shakenbakegurl: I'm really bad at measuring the correct amount of pasta, so if you and 79 of your friends want spaghetti tonight, come on over.
@flashember: WIFE: Will he ever wake up? DOCTOR: Only a shocking truth will do it W: i sold his pet hamster ME *eyes fly open* WHERE HAS THEODORE GONE
@joshesjames: Tomorrow is Jesus' birthday. I got him an Xbox. Keeping it at my house until I see him.