@Mikecanrant: When the UPS guy hands you that pad where you digitally sign your name, you can put anything. Today I put "lame shorts" and nothing happened
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@sarcasticmommy4: It isn't until your kids start talking back that you realize dogs would've been a better option.
@sadhatterskwrl: I can only ruin a handful of men's lives at one time THERE'S ONLY SO MANY HOURS IN A DAY PEOPLE I AM NOT CONGRESS!!
@david8hughes: "911 what's your emergency?" "Yeah, I've got so many questions about bees." *sighs* "Please hold for the president."
@Jesssicle: Really, iTunes? You need to update my calculator app? Have there been changes to basic math that I'm unaware of?