@omgthatspunny: When the window fell into the incinerator, it was a pane in the ash to retrieve.
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@captainkalvis: ME: let's go to the International House of Pancakes GERALD (a bunny): Ihop? ME: you can do whatever you want, gerald, i'm getting pancakes
@ArfMeasures: HER: Does your dog do any tricks? ME: I taught him to lie on the bed H: That's not impressive lol DOG [gets on bed] I wrote The Hobbit
@JohnFDaley: There must've been a good reason Zimmerman pulled a gun on his wife. Like, maybe she was walking down the street, minding her own business.