@TravLeBlanc: When the zombie apocalypse comes, we'll be the last to go because we never leave our houses.
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@the_tsai_guy: If someone eggs your house, you can save time cleaning up by just baking your house into a cake.
@Thynebear: *walks up to bouncer* "sorry pal, this is a private country club" *peeks inside* [everybody's fist pumping hard as heck to kenny chesney]
@Storminika: I win arguments with cab drivers by getting out of the cab and leaving the door open.