@TGIJeff: When they ask me in a job interview what my greatest weakness is, I always say that I can't open my eyes under water
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@imVig: Thief: Did u see me rob this bank?nTeller: well, yes!nn*Teller shot in the head*nThief: DID U SEE ME ROB THIS BANK?nMe: No. But my wife did!
@Ideal_Victoria: Me: Ugh! I never know what to say in these situations... Friend: You say 'good morning' back