@SonofConway: When tragedy strikes your community, McDonald's will still be there to take your money.
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@DamienFahey: 70% of the Earth's surface is water. The other 30% is covered in advertisements for The Blacklist.
@fridaycandy: Apparently If ur BF says "if anything happens to me,I want u to meet someone new...." "anything" doesn't include getting stuck in traffic.
@ArielBen6: Ebola has been in the US for 1 day and people are already wearing masks. AIDS has been here for 55 years and fools still don't use a condom
@BlindChow: [1st moon landing] Mission Ctrl: Be sure to say something important & profound Neil: Ok *steps onto moon* Neil: *clears throat* I'm a vegan