@trevso_electric: When two girls hate each other, they say "we should DEFINITELY hang out" and then take turns shouting "definitely!" until one of them dies.
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@fuzzlime: I like how the dude in the next self-checkout lane is trying to disarm me with small talk like we don't both know this is a goddamn race
@WetzelGeek: Son, there's no need for a paternity test. I knew you were mine when you came prematurely.