@jonnysun: when u get caugt lying on ur resume but u still try to convince the interviewer that ur qualified for the job
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@ch000ch: [drops a pinch of fish food into fish tank] ME: here ya go little buddies FISH: oh wow pukey shit flakes again, thanks man
@junejuly12: Whenever an automatic hand dryer doesn't turn on for me, I like to think my diet is really working.
@joeljeffrey: When I make my first million, Im switching from 2 ply toilet paper to white bread.