@KevinFarzad: When walking behind someone at night, let them know you're not dangerous by yelling "DO NOT FEAR ME" very loudly
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@imdaintyaf: [Dog yoga class] Teacher: Alright, let's go into downward human pose [Dogs hunch over and start pretending to text]
@iTomFoolery: We’ve had the selfie and now the selfie stick. So when will our phones be renamed Selfones.
@daemonic3: Kids today are too obsessed with their phones to care about the "free candy" on my van. *crosses off "candy" and writes "wi-fi"
@pleatedjeans: Fun way to prank Jesus is to invite him snorkeling haha he'd be stuck on top walking on the water while ur underneath having all the fun