@CrowfootJim: When women get to a certain age they start accumulating cats. This is known as the many paws.
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@WheelTod: If you're dying, and have recently lost your car keys, take the opportunity, as your life flashes before your eyes, to try to spot them!
@myconfusedface: Me and be Jealous?... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ... Who is McDonald's and why are you 'lovin it'?
@ThisLocalHater: To the middle-aged guy in front of me at the bookstore buying several martial arts books: Is that even legal with your lack of ponytail?
@LoveNLunchmeat: If I ever get a Roomba, I'm gonna be totally irresponsible and just throw crumbs on the floor for fun.