@CrowfootJim: When women get to a certain age they start accumulating cats. This is known as the many paws.
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@T_Longstreth: [stops girl before she walks in the puddle] "I got this one babe, *pulling out a straw* stand back"
@huntigula: Good Cop: If you tell us where the money is we can help you. Bag Cop: *majestically floats around the interrogation room on AC currents*
@PantsDonkey: Everyone please stop saying that today's date only happens once. EVERY date only happens once, that's how time works.