@batkaren: When writing science fiction, always Google your made-up planet name; 9 times out of 10, it's an existing yeast infection medication.
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@AJemaineClement: Good one computer geniuses, you made everything "user friendly" and "intuitive" and now idiots are on the internet commenting on everything.
@DaddyJew: Dad: I had a son once Stranger: what happened to him? D: he touched the thermostat Kid: dad, I'm like right here D: you hear something?
@BuckyIsotope: If you go to an animal shelter and ask for a cat, they get really upset if you play them like a guitar and scream ROCK YOU LIKE A FURRICANE.
@robfee: The worst part about breaking up right before Halloween is now I have to explain at every party why I'm dressed as half of a horse.