@ocourtneyno: When you accidentally type "me" instead of "my" I read your tweets as if you are a leprechaun.
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@nice_mustard: ME ONLINE: all people deserve the same rights & quality of life ME IN TRAFFIC: I HOPE EVERYONE IN THIS MINIVAN GETS EATEN BY RABID BADGERS
@KalvinMacleod: Wife: Are you even listening to me? Me: Of course W: Oh yeah, what did I say? M: [smoke bomb] W: I can still see you M: [Another smoke bomb]
@chuuew: ME: [standing in the rain] STRANGER: [taps me on the shoulder] Here's an umbrella ME: Yes. I've seen one before.