@ocourtneyno: When you accidentally type "me" instead of "my" I read your tweets as if you are a leprechaun.
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@ThaJawn: "No, there's no way!" I totally could "No you couldn't!" *slams the rest of his beer* I can and I will -the first guy to ride an ostrich
@iwearaonesie: *sees cars lined up outside church* wife: Is that a funeral or a wedding? me: What's the difference?
@Sassafrantz: 57% of serial killers were bed wetters until an unusually advanced age. Let's make fun of them! What's the worst that could hap..never mind.