@wesjohnson8: When you are arguing with an idiot, make sure the other person isn't doing the same thing.
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@WheelTod: Early in any job interview be sure to use the phrase "I always give 110%", so you can quickly gauge their tolerance for working with idiots.
@AkashThakan: Let me tell you why going outside is not safe. Because chances are after a few days you end up retweeting a joke about yourself.
@JimmerThatisAll: This day in history. 1924. Franz Kafka died after a surrealistically charged life which should have its own adjective. Kafkastic? Kafkable?