@_Water_Baby: When you are having a new mattress installed, remember to hide your "toys" BEFORE the movers arrive.
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@weinerdog4life: How to make friends: Put your clothes on backwards so people don't notice you walking up to them.
@1Bad_Scientist: *at Thanksgiving dinner* Me: One of you is eating poison green bean casserole. Everyone: *gasp* Me: Just kidding you all are.