@KarenKilgariff: When you die, you walk down a tunnel of light and then that sentient paperclip from MS Word pops up and asks you what you want to do next.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@my_boy_joey: I just saw a raccoon get hit by a Smart Car. The poor lil fella suffered a sprained ankle.
@panmidwest: [Father's Day] ME: I got you this meat thermometer. Hopefully it works well... DAD: Hopefully it works medium and rare too!
@shutupmikeginn: [ear is bleeding for 3 days straight] hmm better keep an eye on that. [laptop slow for one second] i gotta run AdWare & antivirus right now