@thenoahkinsey: When you don't even acknowledge I held a door open for you, I want to pull you back inside by your neck, and say "now let's try this again."
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@JimGaffigan: A chain lock on a door is just there to annoy the person who is breaking in to kill you, right?
@chuuew: ME What's a penguins favourite relative? Aunt Arctica! PENGUIN . . ME [makes flies over head motion] PENGUIN I don't know what that means