@JoleenDoreen: When you get to Customs and they ask if you have anything to declare, "Thumb War" is not the answer they were looking for.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Pork_Chop_Hair: When she rips his shirt open in the movies, it's sexy and romantic. But when I try it, he's all "Your Pap smear is normal, but please don't do that with your toes every time".
@JermHimselfish: Proper punctuation can be the difference between a tweet being well written and a tweet being well, written.
@catmarstru: "shaved carrots instead of cheese" lol okay Vogue thanks for the diet advice those totally taste the same