@robdelaney: When you go in the other room I ask your dog what you look like naked.
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@dreadnaught69: *at a restaurant* Don't be awkward, don't be awkward Waitress: how's the food? Me: yes
@TheMongoose69: Had to get sticky tape and gift tags surgically removed from my body at the hospital... Proving once again that white guys can't wrap.
@bluebonetbabies: I love how we have a big tv so my 3 kids can crowd around the tiny iPad and argue over not being able to see.