@gerryhallcomedy: When you go to buy fire insurance for your house, don't tell them you need it by a certain date.
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@ch000ch: need to find a better way to trick my dog into taking his medication bc the last 2 times he tricked me into taking it
@bananagrvyrd: Sometimes when I look into the sky I get overwhelmed with emotion and eat the nearest entire tree and everything living in that tree
@UNTRESOR: A person running around with a laptop chasing an unsecured WiFi signal looks eerily like a cat chasing a laser pointer.