@gerryhallcomedy: When you go to buy fire insurance for your house, don't tell them you need it by a certain date.
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@VolatileVani: My favorite romcom is Silence of the Lambs and if you tell me it's not a romcom well oh boy have I got a Powerpoint presentation for you.
@Marlebean: Sorry I gave you a sympathy card at your baby shower, but... well you'll see soon enough.
@AngelaEhh: Dear Milk of Magnesia manufacturers: Please add : 'Don't trust a fart' to your side effects label. kthanksbye