@gerryhallcomedy: When you go to buy fire insurance for your house, don't tell them you need it by a certain date.
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@justabloodygame: If you watch The Matrix backwards, a young man slowly comes down from a wild acid trip before returning to his low-level tech job.
@girlontapas: Red light special: that smug look that you give the driver who was speeding and cut you off then ended up beside you at the red light.
@TuffyNyC: "Statistics show that most shark attacks happen in shallow water." Really? Maybe cus that's where the ppl are u idiots.
@cool_as_heck: Her: I have Netflix if you wanna come watch a movie :) Me: No it's ok, I have my own account [60 years later on deathbed] Me: Wait a minute