@fightforfood: When you guys describe me to your families do you use the word tigress? I'd prefer if you included tigress
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@whalesmells: When someone you don't like is eating them, chips sound like 1000 asteroids smashing into the polar ice caps.
@3sunzzz: [notice son's not home] [text] Me: IT'S AFTER MIDNIGHT! I SAID HOME BY 11! 17: You were my ride. Me: Oh. Where are you again?
@FrenulumBreve: [love making] Her: [leans in] "do that thing you know I like." [i cease to exist] Her: "yeah baby."