@LoveNLunchmeat: When you have the opportunity to become a bigger person, take it because cake is delicious.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Shock_Monster: HR: Let's talk about why you were late today. Me: I told you! HR: DRAGONS AREN'T "RELIABLE TRANSPORTATION!" Me: Duh. That's why I was late.
@jwoodham: The best job ever? Sleeping Beauty at Disney World. You just lay down all day. If anyone bothers you, it's like excuse me, I'm working here.
@thatdutchperson: [Stares deeply into date's eyes before going to the bathroom] "I've counted these fries."