@bummyant: when you kill a whole pizza by yourself
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@theshamingofjay: If you jump through the hole in a hipster's earlobe you get transported to a SIMS game where the only people are Harry Potter characters
@Reverend_Scott: [first date at restaurant] ME: so, do you like dogs? HER: I'm more of a- ME: CHECK PLEASE
@TheMichaelRock: Cinderella taught girls that it's ok if a guy has no idea what you look like as long as he's a prince.