@Parker_Simpson: When you know your about to be spammed on #tinder
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@starwarsshirt: I don't have jealousy issues, but I do have "flirt with my boyfriend one more time and I may have to cut you" issues.
@matt___nelson: 911: what's your emerg- ME: I'VE BEEN SHOT 911: ...why would you interrupt me like that?
@pregnant_cat: Hi I'm Dan, welcome to identity theft club *from back of room "me too" "me too!" "uhhh, yeah me too" Ok, we're off to a great start guys
@agathagotstoned: What if cats are born with names & the fact that we call them names that aren't those names is the reason they act irrationally towards us?