@Parker_Simpson: When you know your about to be spammed on #tinder
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@AlexEllisdon: If I was in charge of SWAT I'd change the name to the "Special Weapons And Grenades" team just so police would have to radio in for SWAG
@timk927: Saying someone is doing something "like a boss" to me is an insult because my boss does things half assed & incorrectly then blames others
@NeighborGrumpy: 3 - DAD! HEY DAD! Me: Don't yell from the door son! Walk here and talk to me 3 - *walks over* 3 - I stepped in dog poop, what should I do?
@blood_orphan: I have a tenuous grasp on the English language. Shakespeare? That dude's grasp on the English language was, like... twelveuous.