@EffiMai: When you lose your phone and someone says ‘shall I call it’ like my phone hasn’t been on silent for the last 2691 years.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Playing_Dad: Customer Service Person: is there anything else I can help you with today? Me: Is this a date? It feels like a date now.
@Pidgers28: Overheard at British Museum - Young boy to Dad - ‘when you die, can I use your skull to strike fear into the hearts of my enemies?’ Dad - ‘...no.’
@PaperWash: I noticed you're eating that bag of popcorn one piece at a time. So how many people have you murdered?