@EffiMai: When you lose your phone and someone says ‘shall I call it’ like my phone hasn’t been on silent for the last 2691 years.
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@shannonrwatts: My son’s voicemails from camp sound like Civil War updates: “Hi mother. I’m in charge of taking everyone down Salt Creek in canoes. It’s been pouring for days and our tents are soaking. Morale is low. I love you.”
@Brianhopecomedy: When someone rings the doorbell I say to my kids, "I think it's Santa Claus!" so I don't have to get up.
@RandiLawson: I feel a special bond w/ ppl that always pop up in my 'May Know' Facebook window. Like u see me,I see u &we've both agreed not to be friends