@thedailymarker: When you open your heart to someone, there is blood. Lots and lots of blood. And then you die. So don't open your heart.
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@mynameisntdave: What if all DJs decided at once to stop using the infamous air horn sound effect and started using the sound of an old man climbing stairs?
@imence2: Gf:Do u love me? Me:Yes. Gf:Why do u love me? Me:You're the best. Gf:I'm the best at what? Me:Asking questions. Gf: Like what? Me:...
@Brianhopecomedy: MISSING: 5 year old LAST SEEN: Moments after I said, "Bath time." DESCRIPTION: Naked, sporting 20-23 Spider-Man band-aids