@jayonguitar: When you rob an Ikea store they probably make you put all the money in the bag yourself.
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@david8hughes: [Joker has Robin tied up] "If you want to see the Boy Wonder alive, come to the old-" "Nope. Also he's allergic to peanuts. Like real bad."
@iRowlf: I'd like to return this pack of gum. They taste awful. "Sir, those are Band-Aids." Oh, I'd like to return these Band-Aids. Someone ate some.
@jenspyra: I appreciate that the saleslady informed me I'd be more comfortable in a 36B cup size, but this is a Best Buy & I'm looking for humidifiers.
@Rollinintheseat: I use a wheelchair. When I’m at a job interview and they ask me what my greatest strength is, I want to say, “I push myself.”