@ShittyComedian: When you said coke I assumed you meant cocaine. No thank you. Soda is bad for you.
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@shahnischmani: Sometimes I feel awkward cause I don't quite know what to do with all my limbs, but then I imagine if I was an octopus and I feel better.
@NoTheOtherJohn: [Lies on resume about having gone to preschool] Boss: You're hired. Your first task is to make me a macaroni picture. Me: *eyes widen* what
@Rollinintheseat: My life is a constant battle of wanting to pet a dog and not wanting to talk to its owner.
@AndRyanTF: Incredible Hulk Experiment-Day 13 Just woke up. Still not a Hulk. Looks like I ate all those moldy bagels for nothing. -Research Continues