@ShittyComedian: When you said coke I assumed you meant cocaine. No thank you. Soda is bad for you.
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@TheTweetOfGod: When you walk through the valley of the shadow of death, it means you've been using Apple Maps.
@mortimermaiden: Me: I need to go to the doctor but my car won't start. Mechanic: Did you try jumping it? Me: Of course, how did you think I broke my legs?
@rolldiggity: ME: "This might be a dumb question..." SCIENTIST: "There's no such thing as dumb que--" ME: "Am I a dragon?"