@myonlymizztake: When you said you wanted to show me a stiff one, I had no idea you worked in a morgue.
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@CanadianPitbull: Apparently "mowing the lawn" means two completely different things to my wife and I
@weinerdog4life: one time my cousin greg put on two jean jackets and he exploded, there was mustache everywhere
@RdrJay47: Trainer: Why do you want to learn jujitsu? Person 1: To defend myself. Person 2: Discipline. Me: My girlfriend keeps stealing my fries.