@myonlymizztake: When you said you wanted to show me a stiff one, I had no idea you worked in a morgue.
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@Traceykemp8: If you`re not going to help me break into my ex`s house to delete the hysterical message i left on his answerphone,then you`re not my friend
@daemonic3: WIFE: OMG how did grandma's ashes get knocked off the mantel? ME: Actually I think it was- *cat makes throat slice gesture* -the wind
@HysteriaBarbie: Relationship status: DON'T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN, YOU CALLED A STORMTROOPER A ROBOT