@Death_Buddy: When you swallow a spider in your sleep, eat some dead flies the morning after to ensure the spider gives you a positive Trip Advisor rating
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@ClichedOut: Interviewer: How did you hear about the position? Me: *sweating profusely* W-with my ears.
@jakefromstfarm3: If you are farther than me in candy crush I will automatically think you are smarter than me.
@OtherDanOBrien: "Dark Side Tech Support." "Hi. My hand lightning won't work. The hate's flowing thru me, but nada." "Try turning the hate off & on again."