@_steamy_mac: When you take up carpentry but hate birds so you have lots of birdhouses with tiny little, “No Vacancy,” signs.
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@generaldietz: priest: you may now kiss the pride me: excuse me? priest: *motions to the other side of the altar where 7 to 8 lions with lipstick wait*
@oldmanweldon: I have this fun drinking game where you take a drink every time you'd like one because you're an adult and you can make decisions yourself.
@stephenjmolloy: Me: "I keep looking for love in all the wrong places." *later at the abandoned mine* Me: "Hello?! Would anybody like a date?!"