@WyLdAnIcA: When you text a guy "my shirt smells like you" be sure you spell shirt correctly.
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@TheFunnyWorId: Why is peter pan always flying? He neverlands. I like this joke because it never grows old.
@Nonnie_Linda: Sitting here eating blueberries wondering if my brain is improving Doubt it..... took too long to spell doubt
@AimeeHelene1: *walks up to microphone during wedding reception* *taps on mic; everyone smiles* "Anyone that doesn't want their cake, pass it to me please"
@AHundredElbows: "We just want to find someone who will-" *sly grin* -Finish our sentences? "Exactly." -death row inmates