@Ivsy01: When you think your man is being romantic but really he just doesn't have electricity.
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@Zambah_: Time zones are amazing! Here in New Zealand it's tomorrow, in America it's yesterday and in North Korea it's 1980.
@SortaBad: If you're in a wheelchair and you say your date stood you up, it's unclear to me whether your night was lousy or remarkable.
@huntigula: I, too, am shocked Ted Cruz has had sex. I just assumed his kids were born when he ate after midnight and got wet like in the movie Gremlins
@NikiWithIssues: I'm gonna get a tattoo of me getting a tattoo of me getting a tattoo. Inkception.