@Ivsy01: When you think your man is being romantic but really he just doesn't have electricity.
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@GloriaFallon123: Nothing like an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant" to make you feel like a Harvard double major.
@jumpdashark: My friend called me from a private number last night so I just returned the favor by knocking on his door with a ski mask on.
@travisauruss: MAN TO LIZARD: "SO I HEAR YOU'RE IN FLOORING SALES" LIZARD: "IM MORE IN PROMOTION" MAN: "WHAT DO YOU DO" LIZARD: "I REP TILE"