@buhsbaby_baby: When you unfollow me, I find your name on a Coke bottle, shake it up, put it back on the shelf and whisper "suck it" under my breath.
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@Flykins: regardless means without regard irregardless means the same as regardless except you never had any English classes
@mattgallo123: The cool thing about driving 15 mph in a school zone is that it makes it so much easier to text.
@Brampersandon_: [COPS] *into radio* We've got a drunk man in the park who thinks he's a lion tamer. "SIR! PUT THE WHIP DOWN & STEP AWAY FROM THE CAROUSEL!"
@truegritrumble: BEEKEEPER: *opens up beehive and finds a peanut butter and jelly sandwich* If that's here... KID: *opens up lunchbox in school cafeteria*