@TheTweetOfGod: When you walk through the valley of the shadow of death, it means you've been using Apple Maps.
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@fixyourcompass: Having Justin Bieber sing at your funeral so your death will be the second worst thing happening to your friends that day.
@DeanB15: I got drunk with my dad once and I asked him if his boner curved to the left too, he replied "No, you got that from your mother". :(
@glenyrd: I'm so glad we could finally reconnect after all these years because I'd really like your help on my virtual farm.
@ThisOneSayz: Save your voice calling for your kids. Just open a bag of chips and they'll materialize out of nowhere.