@TheTweetOfGod: When you walk through the valley of the shadow of death, it means you've been using Apple Maps.
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@JustDontBugMe: [First Date] M: Hi! Him: Hi, I'm Chandler, I make jokes when I'm uncomfortable. M: Oh really? *winks* H: You look beautiful today.
@sarcasticmommy4: My teen was complaining he had no clean clothes so I asked him what he thought he should do: "Uh, go buy new clothes?" Have kids. It's fun.