@1Happytwit: When your boss says "You need help", he never means a hitman.
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@iAmDelFreaky: I hate grocery shopping. That's why I just steal a full cart when somebody turns away. I never know what I'm getting, but it sure is faster.
@MrBob_52: First week of my diet I gained 3 pounds. However, I found out if I stand further away from the mirror I look thinner.
@TheMichaelRock: If we have learned anything from the Friday the 13th movies, it's that Jason mainly kills people having sex. Most of you should be good.