@1Happytwit: When your boss says "You need help", he never means a hitman.
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@Gre_Gone: [loudly in front of a bunch of ducks] "OH NO I SEEM TO HAVE BROUGHT TOO MUCH BREAD WITH ME WHATEVER SHALL I DO?" *ducks try to play it cool*
@nbadag: PASTOR: and the lord said unto us—can u stop please? it's very distracting ME: [bouncing up & down on yoga ball] i don't think he said that
@KentWGraham: Misery loves company. And from what I can tell, the company she loves is the one where I work.
@Dwarven_Cleric: After living in terror for 27 years, Gloria Estefan's threat is realized; I open my car door, and am brutally attacked by the rhythm.