@papasuncle: When your bucket of KFC starts talking about the afterlife, that is some deep fried chicken.
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@shutupmikeginn: So much wasted time in public school, as an adult I've never used cursive, done algebra, or had to remember anything from sex ed.
@thepunningman: Me: Sorry, my son spilled the water Waiter: No problem, I'll get you a new one Me: [grabbing his arm] Make sure this one likes sports
@AristotlesNZ: I went to M.C. Hammer's house once. It was annoying. He won't let you touch anything.
@Underchilde: A man’s got to know his limitations. Unless he’s in a relationship, then he’ll be constantly reminded.