@papasuncle: When your bucket of KFC starts talking about the afterlife, that is some deep fried chicken.
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@DancesWithTamis: The only good thing about grinding your teeth at night is that every morning you can wake up and do a line of teeth off your pillow
@matt___nelson: [getting escorted out of zoo] "I just wanted to see if the panda knew kung fu like in the movie"
@ojedge: Van Gogh: "Dude, I saw this hella vase of sunflowers today." Gauguin: "Pics, or it didn't happen." [van gogh pulls out oil paints & easel]