@OhNoSheTwitnt: When your friend tells you she's thinking about adopting and you get really disappointed when you find out she means a human.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Lowenaffchen: My wife set up a spycam and found out my sons "speech impediment" was from 5 years of me talking to him in Borat voice while she was at work
@JustDontBugMe: [During an ultrasound scan] Doctor:The baby looks fine. Mom:See? that's your baby sister in there! 3:What??Mom, why did you eat the baby?
@MrFornicator: When people ask me if I'm working hard or hardly working, I like to stab them with a pen and ask if they're hurting hard or hardly hurting.
@SamGrittner: If someone starts talking to you, easily get out of the conversation by nodding while climbing the nearest tree.