@OhNoSheTwitnt: When your friend tells you she's thinking about adopting and you get really disappointed when you find out she means a human.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@WoodyLuvsCoffee: Boss asked if I was ready for more responsibility. I'm eating around a sticker on an apple cause I'm too lazy to peel it off so I guess no.
@Kyle_Lippert: There are 5 things I really hate: 1) Racists. 2) People who can't spell. 3) Math 4) Whyte people
@MeepisMurder: in 2nd grade we had to draw what we wanted to be when we grew up and i just drew myself with sunglasses on
@DamienFahey: I just dropped my phone in the toilet and for a second I stood over it and thought, "That's where it belongs."