@Ivsy01: When your friend wants to do a drive by but none of us can see that good at night anymore.
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@thatdutchperson: [Court] "Do you swear to tell the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?" Me: yes. *GF from the back* DO THESE PANTS MAKE ME LOOK FAT?
@NakedHangover: Trojan should be sponsoring Teen Mom. That show is the best advertisement for why you should always wear condoms.
@HeyZeus666: I'm no different than any other bachelor. I put my pants on one leg at a time and clean the house once every new girlfriend.